A little wisdom from "The Onion"

Since we were going to be out sailing on Sunday, we needed to TiVo the Cowboy game.  When we got back to Amston, I went home and showered and went to pick up takeout at the local restaurant, Donato's. (I wanted one more big plate of pasta before Monday!) We were going to eat and watch the game.  Good plan.  I walk in with two bags of food ready to hunker down and  cheer.  David was standing over the sink with a plate when all of a sudden he hunched over with an  extreme  look of pain on his face.  I stood there for a moment in a little bit of confusion. What was  he doing? "Are you okay?" I asked. No answer. Finally he said something about his back I couldn't  really make out. I stood there, frozen. Come to find out a minute or two later, he has back troubles  from time to time and this was going to be another fit.  (I teased him later that his body knew he was  older today! Happy Birthday 41!)  After some aspirin, he hobbled upstairs with his plate (gotta eat!) to watch the game.  He laid down on a heating pad and didn't move.  Poor thing, whatta pitiful  way to spend your birthday. Every little move, he cringed. I felt so bad.

Then we turned on the game.  Troy was announcing! Oh my, I don't get too much happier than  watching a good Cowboy game with Troy broadcasting. As Evan would say, "Good times, good  times."  I sat and played on the laptop listening to Troy making David crazy with my incessant "Are  you OK?  Do you need anything?  More aspirin?"

The phone rang. It was Jay calling to wish David a happy birthday. I could hear him on the other  end.  He was asking David about the Cowboys game.  "I don't want to hear anything. I'm watching  it now, " David said. All I heard was Jay say something like "....awesome game."  I knew instantly  we lost, as Jay hates the Cowboys about as much as I love them.  An "awesome game" to him had  to mean a blow-out or a devastating loss for us. I jumped up and went downstairs. I didn't want to  hear anything else. 

Whatta game. He was right. The mistakes, turn-overs, back and forth.  It  was, as promised, a  nail-biter.  By the 4th quarter, I was on the floor blogging and David was able to sit up if propped  against the pillows. At this point, I was no longer watching the game - just listening to Troy and  typing. But soon it was getting down to the end. I put the computer down. We waited. Will they  kick the long field goal? Will they tie it up for overtime.  What are they discussing?  What's the call?   Let's get on with...........................and just as suddenly as we'd turned the game on, it shut off.    WITH 3 SECONDS LEFT IN THE GAME RIGHT BEFORE THE FIELD GOAL ATTEMPT   TO TIE it quit recording.  TiVo thought it was over. TiVo thought it was time to shut off.  TIVO   HAD MISSED THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THE GAME! We'd sat through 3 hours of  compelling football desperate to know the outcome and TIVO decided that was not going to  happen. 

My stomach sank.  My jaw clinched.  I could feel my face getting hotter.  Breathe, breathe, I told  myself. BREATHE,  I screamed inside my head.  I looked at David all hunched over and knew I  was going to have to be a bigger person. Even though EVERY INCH OF MY BODY wanted  to throw the fit of a three year old. I wanted to kick and scream and cry and  yell until someone put  the game back on the screen. I wanted to throw something at the TV!! "It's only tv", I said as calmly  as I could.  "It's okay."  Be a grown-up, I said to myself.  There's nothing we can do now. Let it  go. It's no big deal. It's just a game, I lied to myself. Maybe I would believe it. "It's okay. It's just a game", I lied to David. It was a test in self control. I think I passed. I sat calmly and watched as  David tried to find a clip of the game on ESPN.  I breathed. I tried to look on the outside as though I was content to watch a recap instead of the actual game. While all the time, internally screaming, Did we win? What happened?  I HATE Tivo!! I can't believe I missed the last 3 SECONDS of  the game. Are you KIDDING ME?"

Even as I write this, I can tell I have not fully reconciled my anger at the TiVo. I suppose there are  more important things in life: world peace, the love of child, the state of your soul. But if this has happened to you, then you know my frustration.  Missing the end of that game or movie or show that you follow. It's maddening. As it turned out, the game was probably much more painful to watch live.  The blocked punt, The agony of defeat. Jay's "awesome game" coming to an end.

I saw this and it made me smile:  There will soon come a time when your happiness depends on where and whether an enormous man catches a ball. - Horoscope from "The Onion"