The Interview
I think I'm having a heart attack, she said, but it's dragging on for hours. I told her not to worry. That's how most people who work a full day feel, I said. - Brian Andreas
I popped up out of bed this morning when the alarm went off at 6:00am sharp. Got in the shower. Hair in towel, sat down in front of the tv. "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" was on AMC. I was never crazy about that title, myself, but boy that Marilyn was really something, wasn't she? Like Jell-O on springs. ;) I put my makeup on painstakingly slow, adjusting each shade. Face on. Check. Blow-dry the hair. Check. Black suit and heels with my silver jewelry. Check. I put in the rollers and brush my teeth once more for good measure. I'm walking out the door at 7:29. My normal Tuesday morning routine? Hardly. I head out. Pass Eddie. On to Route 2. No traffic. I hit Glastonbury by 7:58. I pull into the parking lot. My normal Tuesday morning destination. Nope. I'm not heading to Colliers just yet. I am heading to another destination: An interview.
I think about what it would be like to pull into this parking lot every morning. No scary people, no broken down gas stations or mechanic shops. Right across the street is one of our favorite restaurants, J Gilbert's. There's a big grocery store, a Blockbuster and a Barnes and Noble. Next door, a pretty white shopping center complete with a Chico's, a Black and White Market, Munson's Chocolates and a Starbucks. What a contrast. My appointment doesn't start until 8:30. Well, didn't want to be late. I watch as cars pull in and people walk their routine trek from car to cubical just as they do every morning. Bored. Guess I have time to get breakfast. I pull out and down the street. One plain toasted bagel and a cup of coffee later, I'm back in the parking lot. 8:07. Huh..... well, I could clean out my purse. I start to pull things out. Bored. I check my make-up for the 4th time. Yep, I still have a face. I change the radio station, sit staring out into the lot with a pit in my stomach. 8:16. Well, I guess I could go in now.
I make the short walk into the building. I can't believe it. There are no stains. There is no dark, dim, depressing lighting. Have you seen Joe vs. The Volcano? There's no office like that here. It's bright and new and fresh. It looks like a Dallas office building. I walk into the bathroom (still a few minutes to kill.) Shiny black stalls, white tile with black and green accents. Beautiful sinks that have full soap and towel dispensers! Where am I? This is not my Connecticut work experience at all. I pee and primp and waste a few more minutes. 8:24. Okay, good enough. I'm going in.
I walk through the long lobby to the elevators. Second floor, Suite 200. I take a deep breath and reach for the handle. It doesn't budge. I try again. Huh....I see a door bell and decide to ring it. I hope that's what I'm supposed to do. I woman comes to the door.....big smile...."HELLO!" she says cheerily like we are old friends. She reminds me of Amy Poe. I try to match her enthusiasm, but fall short. "Come in. Sit down. Jamie will be right out." I walk to the waiting area and sit down. It's a beautiful office. Plants everywhere. There's an arrangement on a long table. I don't know what the flowers were. They were light green and white and full and fluffy like hydrangeas on the top and fell down like wisteria at the bottom. The tall glass vase was filled with stones. It was calming. The chairs were small and angled and modern. Tans and browns of every shade. It was truly quite an office. The large conference room was lined with windows. I imagined it full of people haggling over new carpet in a $40 million property. "Don't worry," I hear from behind me. "Nothing to be nervous about. This is a great office". I turn and see the cheery woman again. "I'm just here helping out. I work in the downtown office." I found this somewhat a relief as I could not be that perky every morning. We made small talk about the office and they she went back and sat down.
Then Jamie came out to the front. She was wearing a giant grin. She was also wearing a black jacket and black pants. Her accessory of choice was a big, round belt buckle with clear rhinestones all over it. She had a big black bag as well with silver snaps and buckles. I'm going to like her, I thought. We headed back to a second (and still quite large) conference room. She talked to me about the position and asked a lot of questions about what I did at various companies. (As you know, I have a tendency to move around, so there were several to go through.) She asked me where I saw myself in 5 years, what my dream job was, and things like that. Always hard for me to answer......somehow.....working for a children's party planning company with two little ones of my own at home, usually isn't the answer they are looking for. But I know how to the play the game and I answer everything as best I can.
Okay, next up: Greg. This is an easy one. Come to find out, he knows David from working at UBS all of 8 months. He also knows David's co-worker in the IT Dept, Jim. Coincidently, he's Jim's next door neighbor, a fact I soon point out so as to bond. It works. He smiles and talks about Jim for a few minutes. "Ever been to his house?", he asks. "Actually, I have.....", I start my story only to be concluded with the ever popular phrase "It really is a small world, isn't it?" Okay, back to business. He seems impressed that worked in dispositions with Jennifer and I play that up. He sales the properties in the office and I would be helping him with that. He's younger......40ish?? Married with girls. He draws me an org chart, explains the company set-up. He wraps up. "Nice meeting you," I say standing up and sticking out my hand. "Be sure and tell Jim I said Hi next time you are out mowing the lawn." He laughs. "I will," and proceeds to talk a little more about Jim. He leaves the room smiling. (If I get this, I'll have to send something to Jim!)
Next up Susan. Greg goes to get her. She pops her head in. "I have to make a call first. I'll be in in a few." Okay. I sit back down. She's a tiny, little lady. Maybe 5'2"? I'm not too good with height. She had on tall sandals. She was older. I found out in my previous conversation that she is from the West Coast and moved here 15 years ago. I wait a few minutes and a man walks in. "I'm George, I'm going to meet with you now. Susan and I switched time slots." Ok.
George: He was the in-house attorney. He reminded me of a cross between David Letterman and Doug Roecker, if that's possible. No ring on, but mentioned that he had been married 26 years, so I'm putting him at early 50's?? He had interviewed in Texas when he got out of school, but didn't like that you could drive for 2 hours and everything still looked the same. Nature. Got it. I ran with it. I talked about my trip with Haley to VT and how pretty everything was and how nice it was to be near the water. I talked about the cool summers here. I walked a fine line, careful not to say anything negative about my beloved Texas, but to still bolster the greatness in New England. We talked about the job requirements. He took me on a "photo tour" of the properties that they owned. There were professionally framed photos all along the walls. Hotels in Hawaii and Colorado. Apartments in Boston and New York City. Beautiful things. Reminded me so much of UBS Realty. He left smiling. Good.
Oh, one small issue I forgot to mention. He golfs with my current company's President and two other Principals twice a week in a league. Nice, huh? So, they are going to be out on the golf course drinking and talking and all that they do and I'm suppose to believe that he's not going to say anything?? Right. So, if I don't get this one, I may be looking for a job in a desperate way. You should have seen me picking up my jaw off the table when he threw that out mid-interview. Talk about small world....I ain't in Dallas anymore!
He went to retrieve Linda. She couldn't be bothered. Had a busy day. Okay. Whatever.
So the office manager, Jessica, came out to meet with me. The final of the day. It was now about 10:45. I was growing tired of the whole process. She was about my age. Black and white dress with black beads and black and white sandals. LOVE IT! (She works next door to the Black and White Market) Her hair is brown, but highlighted with serious blonde. It's back in a fancy ponytail, bun, type arrangement. She's cute. "Hi, I'm Jessica. You want to go outside?" she said in a voice that sounded like a combination of baby talk and animated cartoon character. I smiled, trying to hold back laughter or any sign that I was amused. "Sure." "Did you get tour?" "Nope." And we were off. Fortunately I was walking behind her, so I didn't have to look her in the face. It was an odd, almost irritating voice. I can't describe it. I'll only say that she is missing out on untold fortunes by not working with Pixar or Disney. She could be the voice of the next big female rat or singing flounder. Yikes. We tour the office and then head out of the building. Odd, but I like it. We walk across the street to a picnic bench. It's blue and sunny, about 75 degrees. Light breeze. She hasn't stopped talking since I said "Sure." Here's the low-down I get from her: We work 8:30-5. She's always late and hates being there at 8:30, so I'll have to be there on time to get everything going in the morning. The perks are: 15 vacation days, 5 sick days, 4 personal days from the time you start. You get a Marriott card that gets you hotels really cheap - like $50 a night. (I wish it was an airline card!!). They go on a trip every year and everyone gets to go. Last year it was Colorado and they stay in one of the hotels they own. (I saw the hotel in Hawaii on the wall!!!) It's all paid for and you can bring a guest. There's medical, dental and eye insurance, matched 401K and life insurance. Everyone is pretty nice and there are free sodas in the fridge. You can have as many as you want, but try to drink too many. ;) (Mind you none of this came from HR, so I have no idea if I will get those benefits, but they sure sounded good!) The downside: There's not really an IT department and she gets frustrated when there are problems with the computers. We have to fix them ourselves. She doesn't have enough time to "learn new things" because she is so busy, so if I want to learn new things, I can....but she's not going to. And we have to make our own travel arrangements because they used to have a corporate travel agency do it and it was too expensive. Huh......well, she was on cold and sinus medicine as she told me about 20 times during the run-down, everything she say may not be completely true, but it's pretty true. Oh boy. ;) So, then it was her turn to interview me. Question #1: If you had this afternoon off, where you want to go? Question #2: If we all went out and played whiffle ball at lunch, would you go to? "Cause that's what we did yesterday. Questions #3: Do you shop a lot? Do you like to buy a lot of clothes? I like that suit. .......And then we wrapped it up. I mentioned to her that George knew my bosses and begged her to ask him not to say anything. Guess that was all I could do now. Yep, that was it. I was finally getting out of there about 11:20.
Whew..... We'll see what happens! There's going to be a Round Two to meet with a few more people if I make that round. Jamie assured me that it would be only about 2-3 people then. I was hoping that I had made the "short list" but I guess I hadn't quite yet. She said they should be done with the process in the next few weeks. Long time to stay in limbo. I'll keep you posted.
I popped up out of bed this morning when the alarm went off at 6:00am sharp. Got in the shower. Hair in towel, sat down in front of the tv. "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" was on AMC. I was never crazy about that title, myself, but boy that Marilyn was really something, wasn't she? Like Jell-O on springs. ;) I put my makeup on painstakingly slow, adjusting each shade. Face on. Check. Blow-dry the hair. Check. Black suit and heels with my silver jewelry. Check. I put in the rollers and brush my teeth once more for good measure. I'm walking out the door at 7:29. My normal Tuesday morning routine? Hardly. I head out. Pass Eddie. On to Route 2. No traffic. I hit Glastonbury by 7:58. I pull into the parking lot. My normal Tuesday morning destination. Nope. I'm not heading to Colliers just yet. I am heading to another destination: An interview.
I think about what it would be like to pull into this parking lot every morning. No scary people, no broken down gas stations or mechanic shops. Right across the street is one of our favorite restaurants, J Gilbert's. There's a big grocery store, a Blockbuster and a Barnes and Noble. Next door, a pretty white shopping center complete with a Chico's, a Black and White Market, Munson's Chocolates and a Starbucks. What a contrast. My appointment doesn't start until 8:30. Well, didn't want to be late. I watch as cars pull in and people walk their routine trek from car to cubical just as they do every morning. Bored. Guess I have time to get breakfast. I pull out and down the street. One plain toasted bagel and a cup of coffee later, I'm back in the parking lot. 8:07. Huh..... well, I could clean out my purse. I start to pull things out. Bored. I check my make-up for the 4th time. Yep, I still have a face. I change the radio station, sit staring out into the lot with a pit in my stomach. 8:16. Well, I guess I could go in now.
I make the short walk into the building. I can't believe it. There are no stains. There is no dark, dim, depressing lighting. Have you seen Joe vs. The Volcano? There's no office like that here. It's bright and new and fresh. It looks like a Dallas office building. I walk into the bathroom (still a few minutes to kill.) Shiny black stalls, white tile with black and green accents. Beautiful sinks that have full soap and towel dispensers! Where am I? This is not my Connecticut work experience at all. I pee and primp and waste a few more minutes. 8:24. Okay, good enough. I'm going in.
I walk through the long lobby to the elevators. Second floor, Suite 200. I take a deep breath and reach for the handle. It doesn't budge. I try again. Huh....I see a door bell and decide to ring it. I hope that's what I'm supposed to do. I woman comes to the door.....big smile...."HELLO!" she says cheerily like we are old friends. She reminds me of Amy Poe. I try to match her enthusiasm, but fall short. "Come in. Sit down. Jamie will be right out." I walk to the waiting area and sit down. It's a beautiful office. Plants everywhere. There's an arrangement on a long table. I don't know what the flowers were. They were light green and white and full and fluffy like hydrangeas on the top and fell down like wisteria at the bottom. The tall glass vase was filled with stones. It was calming. The chairs were small and angled and modern. Tans and browns of every shade. It was truly quite an office. The large conference room was lined with windows. I imagined it full of people haggling over new carpet in a $40 million property. "Don't worry," I hear from behind me. "Nothing to be nervous about. This is a great office". I turn and see the cheery woman again. "I'm just here helping out. I work in the downtown office." I found this somewhat a relief as I could not be that perky every morning. We made small talk about the office and they she went back and sat down.
Then Jamie came out to the front. She was wearing a giant grin. She was also wearing a black jacket and black pants. Her accessory of choice was a big, round belt buckle with clear rhinestones all over it. She had a big black bag as well with silver snaps and buckles. I'm going to like her, I thought. We headed back to a second (and still quite large) conference room. She talked to me about the position and asked a lot of questions about what I did at various companies. (As you know, I have a tendency to move around, so there were several to go through.) She asked me where I saw myself in 5 years, what my dream job was, and things like that. Always hard for me to answer......somehow.....working for a children's party planning company with two little ones of my own at home, usually isn't the answer they are looking for. But I know how to the play the game and I answer everything as best I can.
Okay, next up: Greg. This is an easy one. Come to find out, he knows David from working at UBS all of 8 months. He also knows David's co-worker in the IT Dept, Jim. Coincidently, he's Jim's next door neighbor, a fact I soon point out so as to bond. It works. He smiles and talks about Jim for a few minutes. "Ever been to his house?", he asks. "Actually, I have.....", I start my story only to be concluded with the ever popular phrase "It really is a small world, isn't it?" Okay, back to business. He seems impressed that worked in dispositions with Jennifer and I play that up. He sales the properties in the office and I would be helping him with that. He's younger......40ish?? Married with girls. He draws me an org chart, explains the company set-up. He wraps up. "Nice meeting you," I say standing up and sticking out my hand. "Be sure and tell Jim I said Hi next time you are out mowing the lawn." He laughs. "I will," and proceeds to talk a little more about Jim. He leaves the room smiling. (If I get this, I'll have to send something to Jim!)
Next up Susan. Greg goes to get her. She pops her head in. "I have to make a call first. I'll be in in a few." Okay. I sit back down. She's a tiny, little lady. Maybe 5'2"? I'm not too good with height. She had on tall sandals. She was older. I found out in my previous conversation that she is from the West Coast and moved here 15 years ago. I wait a few minutes and a man walks in. "I'm George, I'm going to meet with you now. Susan and I switched time slots." Ok.
George: He was the in-house attorney. He reminded me of a cross between David Letterman and Doug Roecker, if that's possible. No ring on, but mentioned that he had been married 26 years, so I'm putting him at early 50's?? He had interviewed in Texas when he got out of school, but didn't like that you could drive for 2 hours and everything still looked the same. Nature. Got it. I ran with it. I talked about my trip with Haley to VT and how pretty everything was and how nice it was to be near the water. I talked about the cool summers here. I walked a fine line, careful not to say anything negative about my beloved Texas, but to still bolster the greatness in New England. We talked about the job requirements. He took me on a "photo tour" of the properties that they owned. There were professionally framed photos all along the walls. Hotels in Hawaii and Colorado. Apartments in Boston and New York City. Beautiful things. Reminded me so much of UBS Realty. He left smiling. Good.
Oh, one small issue I forgot to mention. He golfs with my current company's President and two other Principals twice a week in a league. Nice, huh? So, they are going to be out on the golf course drinking and talking and all that they do and I'm suppose to believe that he's not going to say anything?? Right. So, if I don't get this one, I may be looking for a job in a desperate way. You should have seen me picking up my jaw off the table when he threw that out mid-interview. Talk about small world....I ain't in Dallas anymore!
He went to retrieve Linda. She couldn't be bothered. Had a busy day. Okay. Whatever.
So the office manager, Jessica, came out to meet with me. The final of the day. It was now about 10:45. I was growing tired of the whole process. She was about my age. Black and white dress with black beads and black and white sandals. LOVE IT! (She works next door to the Black and White Market) Her hair is brown, but highlighted with serious blonde. It's back in a fancy ponytail, bun, type arrangement. She's cute. "Hi, I'm Jessica. You want to go outside?" she said in a voice that sounded like a combination of baby talk and animated cartoon character. I smiled, trying to hold back laughter or any sign that I was amused. "Sure." "Did you get tour?" "Nope." And we were off. Fortunately I was walking behind her, so I didn't have to look her in the face. It was an odd, almost irritating voice. I can't describe it. I'll only say that she is missing out on untold fortunes by not working with Pixar or Disney. She could be the voice of the next big female rat or singing flounder. Yikes. We tour the office and then head out of the building. Odd, but I like it. We walk across the street to a picnic bench. It's blue and sunny, about 75 degrees. Light breeze. She hasn't stopped talking since I said "Sure." Here's the low-down I get from her: We work 8:30-5. She's always late and hates being there at 8:30, so I'll have to be there on time to get everything going in the morning. The perks are: 15 vacation days, 5 sick days, 4 personal days from the time you start. You get a Marriott card that gets you hotels really cheap - like $50 a night. (I wish it was an airline card!!). They go on a trip every year and everyone gets to go. Last year it was Colorado and they stay in one of the hotels they own. (I saw the hotel in Hawaii on the wall!!!) It's all paid for and you can bring a guest. There's medical, dental and eye insurance, matched 401K and life insurance. Everyone is pretty nice and there are free sodas in the fridge. You can have as many as you want, but try to drink too many. ;) (Mind you none of this came from HR, so I have no idea if I will get those benefits, but they sure sounded good!) The downside: There's not really an IT department and she gets frustrated when there are problems with the computers. We have to fix them ourselves. She doesn't have enough time to "learn new things" because she is so busy, so if I want to learn new things, I can....but she's not going to. And we have to make our own travel arrangements because they used to have a corporate travel agency do it and it was too expensive. Huh......well, she was on cold and sinus medicine as she told me about 20 times during the run-down, everything she say may not be completely true, but it's pretty true. Oh boy. ;) So, then it was her turn to interview me. Question #1: If you had this afternoon off, where you want to go? Question #2: If we all went out and played whiffle ball at lunch, would you go to? "Cause that's what we did yesterday. Questions #3: Do you shop a lot? Do you like to buy a lot of clothes? I like that suit. .......And then we wrapped it up. I mentioned to her that George knew my bosses and begged her to ask him not to say anything. Guess that was all I could do now. Yep, that was it. I was finally getting out of there about 11:20.
Whew..... We'll see what happens! There's going to be a Round Two to meet with a few more people if I make that round. Jamie assured me that it would be only about 2-3 people then. I was hoping that I had made the "short list" but I guess I hadn't quite yet. She said they should be done with the process in the next few weeks. Long time to stay in limbo. I'll keep you posted.
Comments
Yep, I laughed out loud all the time I was reading this. You are really wasting your talent in the 9 to 5 world. I'm serious, girl. This is really, really funny stuff. And just think...after your bosses at your present job find out you are looking around and Jim tells Greg that you have a blog that he ought to read (and he shares that info with Jessica), you probably WILL have plenty of time to take up writing!!! ;-D
Looking forward to the next reel! U.Bil