So Desperate For Spring....

It's about 40 degrees out, but the sun is shining. I'm so desperate for spring. I am going out to read on the patio, but I have to take my blanket, jacket, ear muffs and mittens with me.

Just pitiful! There was a small corner of sun on the deck. It's a cute book though. Had to take it inside once the patch of sun was gone. Too cold!

Being the slowest reader ever, I only made it to Page 117 today. But I have laughed and laughed and LAUGHED all day. Ree, a vegetarian night-owl from L.A. falls for her husband, a real working cowboy on a ranch in Oklahoma 20 miles from the nearest small town. While my story isn't quite that dramatic, moving from Dallas and all that it has to offer to a completely different world here in rural Connecticut for love, I am finding this book to be absolutely hysterical! Maybe it's that "You're not from around here, are you?" stare I get almost everywhere I go. Maybe it's the big Texas hair and the high heels to the Timberlands and the lack of make-up. I don't think it's just that though.....it takes you back to whoever you fell in love with. Men are men and women and women and dating is dating in whatever form it takes per couple. Trying to impress....those "new" feelings when everything is goosebumps and nerves....the first kiss. It's a great read. I can't wait to finish it. If you like a funny, easy-to-read, up-lifting, goofy story this is for you. When I finish, I'm happy to pass it on if anyone wants it.

Let me give you an example of what I'm talking about.....maybe you can see how I can relate so strongly.

Marlboro Man, as she affectionaly calls him, calls and asks her to come to the ranch at 5:00am to meet his parents and "gather cattle" and this is what she writes:

"I hung up the phone and darted to my closet. What does one wear to a ranch early in the morning? I wondered. I was stumped. I had enough good sense, thank God, to know my spiked black boots - the same boots I'd worn basically every date with Marlboro Man this far - were out of the question. I wouldn't want to get them dirty, and besides that, people might look at me funny. I had a good selection of jeans, yes, but would I go for the dark, straight-leg Anne Kleins? Or the faded, boot-cut Gaps with contrast stitching? And what on earth would I wear on top? This could get dicey. I had a couple of nice, wholesome sweater sets, but the weather was turning warmer and the style didn't exactly scream "ranch" to me. Then there was the long, flax-colored linen tunic from Banana Repbulic - one I loved to pair with a chunky turquoise necklace and sandals. But that was more Texas Evening Barbeque than Oklahoma Early-Morning Cattle Gathering....."

She goes on to find a demin outfit and a pair of old boots (one size too small) in her sister's closet, who is off at college.

"...I darted out of bed to the sound of the screaming alarm. This had to be a joke. It was nighttime.Were these people crazy? I took a shower, my heart beating anxiously at the prospect of meeting Marlboro Man's parents on their turf. Wrapped in a towel, I slipped downstairs and retrieved my frozen spoons. I wanted none of that annoying puffiness. And within twenty-five minutes, I was thoroughly made up, blow-dried, curled, dressed and out the door - dressed to the nines in my denim button-down shirt, Gap boot-cut jeans, and Betsy's brown lace-up Ralph Lauren waffle-soled hiking boots - though something told me they weren't necessarily designed for outdoor durability. I hopped in the car and headed toward the ranch. I almost fell asleep. Twice."

She makes it to the ranch and then is introduced.

"..."Hi," I said. "I'm Ree." I reached out and shook their hands.

"You sure look nice this morning," his mom remarked. She looked comfortable, as if she's rolled out of bed and thrown on the first things she'd found. She looked natural, like she hadn't set her alarm for 3:40am so she could be sure to put on all nine layers of mascara. She was wearing tennis shoes. She looked at ease. She looked beautiful. My palms felt clammy.

"She always looks nice," Marlboro Man said to his mom, touching my back lightly. I wished I hadn't curled my hair. That was a little over the top. That, and the charcoal eyeliner. And the raspberry shimmer lip gloss."

Oh that cracks me up.....how many times have I felt that way up here! From Evan's "art display", to the New Hampshire snow boots I was so proud of until everyone laughed at the heel, to this morning when David looked over at me in the car and said "You're a little dressed up for church aren't you?" Yet, somehow, I still apply that raspberry shimmer lip gloss every chance I get!

One More? I can't write the whole chapter here, but it's Chapter 10: The Good, The Bad and The Sweaty. I was laughing uncontrollably downstairs. Maybe it's because to this day, I don't dare wear silk or any other "unforgiving fabric." Maybe it's because I've had more than my share of nervous breakdowns in bathrooms during events. But this had me so tickled. Ree is invited to go to a wedding and there she is meeting Marlboro Man's family. Lots and lots of family. She decided what to wear and arrives at a butter colored suit. It's August. It's hot. She starts to sweat and goes to an upstairs bathroom to cool off. She's sweating everywhere and takes her clothes off to cool off and dry out her clothes.

"...Suddenly I heard a knock at the bathroom door.

"Yes?"Just a minute....Yes?" I scrambled and grabbed my wet control tops.

"Hey, you ...are you all right in there?"

God help me. It was Marlboro Man....My heart fluttered in horror. I wanted to jump out of the bathroom window, scale down the trellis, and hightail it out of there, forgetting I'd ever met any of these people. Only there wasn't a trellis. And outside the window down below were 150 wedding guests. And I was sweating enough for all of them combined.

I was naked and alone, enduring the flop sweat attack of my life. It figured. It was usually the times I felt and looked my absolute best when I wound up being humbled in some colossally bizarre way. There was the time I traveled to my godmother's son's senior prom in a distant city and partied for an hour before realizing the back of my dress was stuck inside my panty hose. And the time I entered the after-party for my final Nutcracker performance and tripped on a rug, falling on one of the guest performers and knocking an older lady's wine glass out of her frail arms. You'd think I would have come to expect this kind of humiliation on occasions when it seemed like everything should be going my way.

"You need anything?" Marlboro Man continued. A drop of sweat trickled down my upper lip.

"Oh no....I'm fine!" I answered. "I'll be right out! You go on back to the party." Go on now, run along, Please. I beg you.

"I'll be out here," he replied. I heard his boots travel a few steps down the hall and stop. I had to get dressed; this was getting ridiculous. Then, as I stuck my big toe into the drenched leg of my panty hose, I heard what I recognized as Marlboro Man's brother Tim's voice.

"What's she doing in there?" Tim whispered loudly, placing particularly uncomfortable emphasis on "doing". I closed my eyes and prayed fervently. Lord, please take me now. I no longer want to be here. I want to be in Heaven with You, where there's zero humidity and people aren't punished for their fabric choices."

She goes on to get dressed and makes her way out and tells Marlboro Man what happened.

"..."So, did you get sick or something?" Marlboro Man asked. "You Okay?"

"No'," I answered. "I got...I got hot."

He looked at me. "Hot?"

"Yeah, Hot." I had zero pride left.

"So...what were you doing in the bathroom?" he asked.

"I had to take my clothes off and fan myself," I answered honestly. "Oh, and wipe the sweat off my neck and back." This was sure to reel him in for life.

Marlboro Man looked at me to make sure I wasn't kidding, then burst into laughter, covering his mouth to keep from spitting out his scotch. Then, unexpectedly, he leaned over and planted a sweet, reassuring kiss on my cheek. "You're funny," he said, as he rubbed his hand on my tragically damp back.

And just like that, all the horrors of the evening disappeared entirely from my mind. It didn't matter how stupid I was - how dumb or awkward, or sweaty. It became clearer to me than ever, sitting on that ornate concrete bench, that Marlboro Man loved me. ...He simply laughed, kissed me and went on. And my heart welled up in my soul as I realized that without question, I'd found the one perfect person for me.

Because more often than not, I was a mess. Embarrassing, clumsy things happen to me with some degree of regularity; this hadn't been the first time and it sure wouldn't be the last. The truth was, despite my best efforts to appear normal and put together on the outside, I'd always felt more like one of the weird kids.

But at last, miraculously, I'd found the one man on earth who would actually love that about me. I'd found the one man on earth who would appreciate my spots of imperfection...and who wouldn't try to polish them all away."

I get that. And I can't wait to read the next 200 pages!