Your Dreams & The Hamster Wheel

This was on Facebook this morning when I got up. It made me smile today. It's true, isn't it? Doesn't everyone working in a cube eight hours a week dream about going out and doing something different?  Does anyone really cherish their time in the cube? Does anyone ever say, "I wish I had more time in my cube. That's where life is really happening!" 

The typical 6' x 6' work cubical is like a cage. A hamster wheel.  You can hang up photos of family and friends with cutesy decorative push pins, buy a red high-heel shoe tape dispenser and have a Tiffany crystal paper clip holder on your desk ... but you're not fooling anyone ... it's a cube.  

Maybe it's just me, but I find myself more and more dreaming of breaking out. What would it feel like to work outside the safety net of a 37.5 hour Monday-Friday structure. What would it feel like to NOT answer phones, mail flyers or pull up property cards?  What would it feel like to spend the majority of your day doing something you love ... something that you feel like was making a difference in people's lives.  Living to work - loving your job - not simply working for the paycheck to live on the weekends.  What would that feel like?

There are people who surf for a living ... explore unknown parts of the African jungle ... or teach dolphins how to communicate with humans.  While lives like that are extraordinary, I'm a little past all of that. I'm not looking to breed zebras or model shoes in a European country.  But there are people who are at home raising children ... working hard to form their little lives. Keeping their homes and marriages and children strong. There are people who are caring for the homeless, the addicted, the hungry and the hurting through businesses, government agencies, churches and charities.  There are people in the business world doing things they have a passion for .... from design to computers to customer service. There are people running little shops and restaurants ... people taking chances everyday. 

And I suppose that's where I'm at now ... taking chances is scary.  37.5 hour Monday-Friday structure feels safe. It feels comfortable.  A reasonable paycheck is deposited every two weeks and there is security in that.  A security that many would like to have. I feel so guilty sometimes. I know there are people out there looking for jobs ... people who would give anything to answer phones, mail flyers or pull up property cards for the checks I get each month.  There is also a reassurance in coming in and knowing I can blog, or work on photos, or get things together for a party or for the kids on Sunday.  I have a freedom and lots of downtime along with a sense of what is expected.  I know my job inside and out. I can do it blind folded with one hand behind my back.  It's easy. It's safe. It's what I know. And I'm good at it.

If you know me at all, you know that bores me.  Safe and easy is boring. I'm not the kind of person who finds that kind of security comforting. I'm the person who says "Okay, I should be doing more. I'm too comfortable.  I need a challenge."

Truthfully now, I'm in a holding pattern.  I need this job and the security and the checks it brings in for at least another year or two.  So, unfortunately for you all who read this, I may need to vent like I did this morning from time to time over the next year or so.  I have to vent to get through the rest of the long, boring day.  And besides, I feel like I keep hearing, "Not yet. Hang in there.  Don't jump ahead. Stay the course."  So, as much I as I would like to walk into my boss' office Friday and bail, that's the wrong thing to do.  It's not time.  I need to wait.  And wait I will.  But I am so looking forward to the next thing ... the next challenge. I can hardly wait!