Hard Times

I read this blog today. I remember being there. Even in a happy marriage now, I remember the pains of the past. I remember the failures. I remember the hurt.  But I think it goes beyond broken marriages ... it speaks to broken lives. All kinds. This part of her blog really spoke to me.  

"...I have compassion and empathy for others that I didn't have a year ago. I have more grace and less judgment than I had a year ago. I have a much bigger faith than I did a year ago .... But most importantly I have a desperate need for my Savior. There were times about six or eight months ago that I would honestly think, "God, I'm not sure I want this season to end because I don't ever want to stop needing you as desperately as I do right now." Being at your wit's end is sometimes the most beautiful place to be...."

In the complete devastation and turmoil, through the buckets of tears and the exhaustion that comes from deep grief, it was one of the most strengthening and "growing" times of my life. Coming to your absolute end and knowing you have nothing in yourself that can fix the situation. Crying until there are no more tears. Fighting until you have no more anger. All you do is trust and rest in Him. And I think He says, "Finally. I have been waiting." 

I feel like there are so many people in my life in a season like that right now. A season of pain and suffering. Some for reasons I know, and some for reasons that I don't. Some that are close to me and some that are very distant. We all have those seasons in life, and this seems to be that time for many I know. Sometimes it's hardest to see through the pain that ... being at your wit's end is sometimes the most beautiful place to be ... but I know it to be true.